It just doesn't work that way.
A good friend of mine came and visit me for a week here in Melbourne.. yes yes.. two girl friends came together and we would've guessed what happened.. talking and talking and talking all nite long.. whenever we're not asleep we must be talking.. sometimes with our dear male friend too *hi yo*. Well, while she's here.. we had a Desperate Housewives movie marathon. We watched the whole first season in a couple of days.. and right after we finished watching the whole thing. I browse through the official site for the series and there was a quiz on 'Which housewife are you?'.. yes I took the test just to kill time.. and guess what??!! (well, my friend wasn't to surprise on the result.. but I was). Turns out I was like Bree!!
For those of you who didn't watch the series, here's some description about her. Bree is one of the five main characters who are known as the perfect housewives. Her house is always spotless, she spent 3 hours cooking dinner for her family each night, she make her own curtains and she have the most perfect garden around the neighbourhood. That's what it seems from the outside for most people, however, she drives her family crazy by trying so hard to be this perfect wife and mother.
Therefore.. it got me thinking!! Am I trying so hard to be perfect?? Looking back at my past relationship, I realize that there were times when I think I did. I did things such as packing his bag when he's about to leave for a business trip, frantically fixing him something to eat when I knew he hasn't ate yet and some other things. Personally, I don't think I'm trying to be perfect, and I tried asking myself 'why did I do all that?'. At that time, I think is because I love this person and I willingly did things for him. But now, I ask myself.. Did I do it because I really want too without any expectations? or did I do it because I have a little tiny expectations that he might love me even more after I did all this for him and thus I'd feel more secure about the relationship?
The truth is, I still can't think of the answer.. or maybe its abit of both. I don't know, I still can't figure that out.. yet. All I know is that I enjoy doing all that for the person I love and I guess I just love the feeling of being whole by doing something for someone I love, the feeling that I've accomplis something for him. And somewhere at the back of my mind there was always a thought that maybe.. just maybe.. I'll be more secure by having him being dependent on me. But the truth is.. it just doesn't work that way.
For those of you who didn't watch the series, here's some description about her. Bree is one of the five main characters who are known as the perfect housewives. Her house is always spotless, she spent 3 hours cooking dinner for her family each night, she make her own curtains and she have the most perfect garden around the neighbourhood. That's what it seems from the outside for most people, however, she drives her family crazy by trying so hard to be this perfect wife and mother.
Therefore.. it got me thinking!! Am I trying so hard to be perfect?? Looking back at my past relationship, I realize that there were times when I think I did. I did things such as packing his bag when he's about to leave for a business trip, frantically fixing him something to eat when I knew he hasn't ate yet and some other things. Personally, I don't think I'm trying to be perfect, and I tried asking myself 'why did I do all that?'. At that time, I think is because I love this person and I willingly did things for him. But now, I ask myself.. Did I do it because I really want too without any expectations? or did I do it because I have a little tiny expectations that he might love me even more after I did all this for him and thus I'd feel more secure about the relationship?
The truth is, I still can't think of the answer.. or maybe its abit of both. I don't know, I still can't figure that out.. yet. All I know is that I enjoy doing all that for the person I love and I guess I just love the feeling of being whole by doing something for someone I love, the feeling that I've accomplis something for him. And somewhere at the back of my mind there was always a thought that maybe.. just maybe.. I'll be more secure by having him being dependent on me. But the truth is.. it just doesn't work that way.
2 Comments:
I would be that friend who came and watched Desperate Housewives with you...rite? Hehe.
Well...don't worry, you're not the only one who always try to be someone who you think your bf would like you to be. The key to conquering that is by loving yourself first and be comfortable with who you are!
Bree is the type of person who cannot hold her anger and will see that her revenge will come through. Syl, you're not at all like Bree. However, you should be like Mama Solis. She said that we shouldn't cry about our problem, but we fix it. Mama Solis rulez! Too bad she's not in the show anymore. I would have loved to see more Mama Solis.
Post a Comment
<< Home