Inspirational

For the past few days, I've been having alot of breakdowns. Its those moments when you felt so uneasy, its like having a feeling that something bad is happening or going to happen to you or the people you love. Or times when you just sit still and think about stuff that it took your friends to shake your body to snap you back to reality.

I've been going out with a group of guys lately, and I'm glad to say that they really tried to cheer me up when I'm feeling down while at the same time, they didn't want me to live in my own world where everything was going the way I wanted. They told me the truth and I was forced to face it whether I like it or not. For example, for the past few months,I always get cranky whenever they talk about relationships and boyfriends or girlfriends and we always tried not to talk about it. And I reject the idea of doing a few activities that reminds me of my painful past. So far, they've been really understanding and we decided not to do some of the things that made me feel sad.

Today, me and my group of guys were sitting in a cafe enjoying our hot chocolate when someone poped up the idea of going to a karaoke bar, I said I don't want to go. They asked 'why?' and I answered 'Because I remember I promised that to someone and I won't feel comfortable'. And then, one of the guy who sat in front of me looked at me and said 'From now on, I want us to do all the things that remind you of your past, we will get rid of that painful memories step by step.. I want you to try to do everything that you used to love and not limit yourself because of a person who hurt you really bad.' At the same time, my other guy friend who sat next to me have his arms around me to give me a support.

Well, it's now 4 a.m. on a Friday night. Just came back from a friend's place where we had a dvd marathon after the hot chocolate and dinner. One of the guys walked me home, and he was asking me if everything's fine with me, since he realized that I haven't been myself today. I said 'I'm just tired of feeling like this, I just want to get through all this as quickly as possible. I want to be able to forget about everything and I just want to be happy again'. Then he said the most amazing thing I've ever heard. He said 'Think of yourself as a runner, you need to leave all your burden behind, don't carry too much stuff on your shoulder, that means you need to wear light and comfortable clothes, and just focus on what you can see in front of you and that is the finish line. The time when you reach the finish line will be the time when you have forget about all this and move on with your life. Just look at that point ahead of you.. and always remember that me and the other guys are there waiting for you standing at the finish line cheering for you.. holding flowers in each of our hands, together with your families and friend as well, and we're all just there to have you back."