Mourning

The past 3 days have been devastating. We have just lost a very dear member of the family. We were all in a deep state of shock as everything happen so suddenly. No one knew about him being hospitalized and when we heard, he was already in coma.

He is a cousin from my father's side and we are considered a pretty close-knit family. We're the type of family who loves to laugh every time we gather. The older ones, even to the youngest one, are always tryin to crack jokes for everybody. Things will never be the same now that one of us isn't going to be there anymore.

Most of the relatives gathered in the hospital in less than an hour after knowing he was admitted, but by then he was already in coma. Everybody were yelling, pushing him, asking him to wake up, but he just wouldn't. No one was ready for this, it was all too sudden. He was fine in the morning, and he's gone in the afternoon. I wasn't there when it happens. I was on my way to work when I heard the news. I cut my therapy session short, went straight home and then leave to 'rumah duka' as soon as possible. I cried on my way home talking to a few of my cousins but when we got there, when all members of the family were present, its hard not to just break down and cry.

We went to rumah duka for 2 days in a row, the first night was just us, the whole relatives and family in Jakarta. The second night was the 'malam kembang', where they held a little ceremony and prayer before closing the casket and by then most of our relatives from Medan had arrived. The next morning was the cremation day. Everybody was there and we formed a convoy of 14 cars to the crematorium.

Once we were there, we waited for a few minutes before the ceremony started. We scatter flower petals, paying our last respect, and saying our good byes. When it was finally time to bring him in. Me and few of my cousins stepped away, we cannot bear seeing him go away like that. For me, that was the worst part, having to see the steel gate closes after he was brought in. Everybody was in tears, my parents, my uncles, my aunties, my cousins. We were not ready to say goodbye. Things were not supposed to end up this way. Deep in each of our hearts, we say our own prayers.

May you rest in peace koko.. Things will never be the same without you here, and although you are not here with us, you will always be in our hearts. Our prayers are always with you.