Set shrink mode +on.

‘Syl, don’t start analyzing and pulling up your shrink acts on me’

‘Syl, don’t go all psychological on me’

or..

‘You study psychology, can you analyze my personality?’

‘Can I have your phone number, I have this issue that I need to talk about’

Well people.. the truth is.. I wouldn’t be able to be your friend AND your shrink. Being a shrink means I can’t comment on anything you said, I can’t hug you when you needed a hug, I can’t comfort you when you cry, I can’t call you up and check on you, and the list goes on.

To a friend, I’d ask questions and throw in some personal opinions and comments about the presented issues, but to a patient I am not allowed because as human we tend to structure our question in such a way that the respond will be just like what we expected and we won’t be able to comment so that we won’t influence patient’s personal point of view.

To a friend, I’d comfort them and hug them when they need one. To a patient, I can’t even hand out a tissue when they cried. I can only put a box of tissue for them to grab by themselves. Because offering them tissue might be perceived as telling them to stop crying or even patient might feel that they were being rejected, that their feelings and emotions were not appreciated.

To a friend, I would call you up every now and then to ask if you’re okay or if you needed anything. To a patient, I have to keep a professional level of relationship, to avoid patient’s over-dependence. Because positive development are happening while patient are seeing the shrink, and most patient will not be able to live their life and make their own decisions without consulting it with the shrink.

and.. as I said.. the list goes on..

Which is why my friend, I can assure you that you definitely do not want to have me as your shrink. Because then I’ll start to smile and nod to you as a sign that I’m still listening, and the only form of conversations from me would be the confirming type, which means I’m repeating everything that you just said and confirming it with you. For example, you: I just ate an orange and I’m feeling full, me: So you’re saying that you’re feeling satiated because you ate a lot of oranges. Yes my friend, that will the type of conversation WE are going to have if I am to be your shrink and I’m sure I’m gonna have my ass kicked if that’s how I respond to my friend’s issues.

So.. the moral of this post is.. if you want me to be your friend, I can’t be your shrink and if you want me as you shrink, I can’t be your friend.