International Gay Rules
With the outbreak of infidelity cases around me, I often wonder.. Have we all taken part in pursuing the International Gay Rules? For those of you who does not know, here's some of the rules: open-relationship (its not ok to date someone else, but its ok to have sex - take note, limited kind of sex as in blow jobs only), never show up at the same place with the same shirt and loads more.
My point here is that, have we worked out more options in performing infidelity than the till-death-do-us-part which obviously seemed to be limiting for those who perfom infidelity. Their response was because they were being a realists therefore they do not expect to get everything from one man.
Frankly, I can understand that. There were times when I wished that my perfect-according-to-me-man would do such and such and would say certain things. And when things get rough, female do sometimes unconsciouly (note the bold in the word) try to change the man into someone they're not just to satisfy our emotional needs. But personally, that's the thing about relationship isn't it? To be able to try and learn to accept whoever we choose to love. There is no such thing as a perfect man, there's always gonna be the good sides and the bad sides and that's why we have to be able to make a choice. To weigh out which bad ones we can live with and which good ones we can't live without.
That is my personal definition of realistic.
Which explain why I'm a strong believer in monogomous relationship. I have always hated people who cheated on their partner. Long before it happened to me (now that it happened to me, I hate it even more). I've seen many many cases of infidelity, although it looks like the severity of the cases spreads along a continuum from one end-the mild case, to the other end-the severe (very fucked up one). But to me, its still the same thing, doesn't matter how long, with who, or however they did it. Its still infidelity. I think that if we're mature enough to be in a relationship, we should also be mature enough to know that we have to clean up the mess of one relationship before going on a new one. That's what being an adult means.
It takes two person to start a relationship, and it also takes two person to screw it up. Although the one performing infidelity is always seen as the bad guy, I'm sure the victim of infidelity have a part in screwing up the relationship as well, but if it didn't work out.. then it didn't work out. Make a clean break, and start fresh.
But then again, who can really define infidelity because I believe that there are different definitions of cheating. To name a few: developing emotional closeness/feelings towards other people when in a relationship, lying to their partner about that significant other (be it going out or routine calls, etc), sleeping with someone else when he/she is attached (with or without feelings involved), and many more.
I'm not going to be hypocritical and said that I will not cheat because frankly, I do not know what's going to happen in the future. I only believed that I have to treat other people just like how I want other people to treat me. I can only hope that I won't have to do that to other people, because heart is very fragile thing and love can be a very sharp sword that rips it apart..... and also because I've been through it, and no one deserve to be treated like that especially when that person trully love the other partner..
~~~~~~~~~~
Ps: This is not a personal attack on any gay couples. I respect you all just like I respect every other human being in this planet. And I know there is a lot of monogomous gay couples as well. This is merely a personal opinion that I have in regards to the rules.
My point here is that, have we worked out more options in performing infidelity than the till-death-do-us-part which obviously seemed to be limiting for those who perfom infidelity. Their response was because they were being a realists therefore they do not expect to get everything from one man.
Frankly, I can understand that. There were times when I wished that my perfect-according-to-me-man would do such and such and would say certain things. And when things get rough, female do sometimes unconsciouly (note the bold in the word) try to change the man into someone they're not just to satisfy our emotional needs. But personally, that's the thing about relationship isn't it? To be able to try and learn to accept whoever we choose to love. There is no such thing as a perfect man, there's always gonna be the good sides and the bad sides and that's why we have to be able to make a choice. To weigh out which bad ones we can live with and which good ones we can't live without.
That is my personal definition of realistic.
Which explain why I'm a strong believer in monogomous relationship. I have always hated people who cheated on their partner. Long before it happened to me (now that it happened to me, I hate it even more). I've seen many many cases of infidelity, although it looks like the severity of the cases spreads along a continuum from one end-the mild case, to the other end-the severe (very fucked up one). But to me, its still the same thing, doesn't matter how long, with who, or however they did it. Its still infidelity. I think that if we're mature enough to be in a relationship, we should also be mature enough to know that we have to clean up the mess of one relationship before going on a new one. That's what being an adult means.
It takes two person to start a relationship, and it also takes two person to screw it up. Although the one performing infidelity is always seen as the bad guy, I'm sure the victim of infidelity have a part in screwing up the relationship as well, but if it didn't work out.. then it didn't work out. Make a clean break, and start fresh.
But then again, who can really define infidelity because I believe that there are different definitions of cheating. To name a few: developing emotional closeness/feelings towards other people when in a relationship, lying to their partner about that significant other (be it going out or routine calls, etc), sleeping with someone else when he/she is attached (with or without feelings involved), and many more.
I'm not going to be hypocritical and said that I will not cheat because frankly, I do not know what's going to happen in the future. I only believed that I have to treat other people just like how I want other people to treat me. I can only hope that I won't have to do that to other people, because heart is very fragile thing and love can be a very sharp sword that rips it apart..... and also because I've been through it, and no one deserve to be treated like that especially when that person trully love the other partner..
~~~~~~~~~~
Ps: This is not a personal attack on any gay couples. I respect you all just like I respect every other human being in this planet. And I know there is a lot of monogomous gay couples as well. This is merely a personal opinion that I have in regards to the rules.
1 Comments:
Hahaha...international gay rules. But the thing is right, it's easier said than done. When temptation comes, it COMES! And sometimes you get swept away...
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