Mengapa berteriak?

Suatu hari sang guru bertanya kepada murid-muridnya "Mengapa ketika seseorang sedang dalam keadaan marah, ia akanberbicara dengan suara kuat atau berteriak?"

Seorang murid setelah berpikir cukup lama mengangkat tangan dan menjawab "Karena saat seperti itu ia telah kehilangan kesabaran, karena itu ialalu berteriak."

"Tapi..." sang guru balik bertanya, "lawan bicaranya justru beradadisampingnya. Mengapa harus berteriak? Apakah ia tak dapat berbicarasecara halus?"

Hampir semua murid memberikan sejumlah alasan yang dikira benarmenurut pertimbangan mereka. Namun tak satupun jawaban yang memuaskan.

Sang guru lalu berkata, "Ketika dua orang sedang berada dalam situasi
kemarahan, jarak antara ke dua hati mereka menjadi amat jauh walau secara fisik mereka begitu dekat. Karena itu, untuk mencapai jarak yang demikian, mereka harus berteriak. Namun anehnya, semakin keras mereka berteriak, semakin pula mereka menjadi marah dan dengan sendirinya jarak hati yang ada di antara keduanya pun menjadi lebih jauh lagi. Karena itu mereka terpaksa berteriak lebih keras lagi."

Sang guru masih melanjutkan "Sebaliknya, apa yang terjadi ketika dua orang saling jatuh cinta? Mereka tak hanya tidak berteriak, namun ketika mereka berbicara suara yang keluar dari mulut mereka begitu halus dan kecil. Sehalus apapun, keduanya bisa mendengarkannya dengan begitu jelas. Mengapa demikian?" Sang guru bertanya sambil memperhatikan para muridnya.

Mereka nampak berpikir amat dalam namun tak satupun berani memberikan jawaban. "Karena hati mereka begitu dekat, hati mereka tak berjarak. Pada akhirnya sepatah katapun tak perlu diucapkan. Sebuah pandangan mata saja amatlah cukup membuat mereka memahami apa yang ingin mereka sampaikan."

Sang guru masih melanjutkan "Ketika anda sedang dilanda kemarahan, janganlah hatimu menciptakan jarak. Lebih lagi hendaknya kamu tidak mengucapkan kata yang mendatangkan jarak di antara kamu. Mungkin disaat seperti itu, tak mengucapkan kata-kata mungkin merupakan cara yang bijaksana. Karena waktu akan membantu anda. Semakin anda menahan kata-kata anda, semakin anda akan menyadari seberapa dekat hati anda sebenarnya".

As the old saying goes 'silence is golden', I realized that sometimes when you don't say anything, holding your words within yourself, you'll be in a place of silence where no one else's voice exist. And there, you will be able to hear your own voice of what you trully want and desire.

At times, you'll be surprised to find out what you trully want are the exact opposite of what you thought you want.

Think twice before getting sick..

I was absent from work 2 days in a row because of the flu and sore throat (which has resulted in loosing my voice). The first day was quite enjoyable coz I get to do nothing and watch movies the whole day, the second day has gotten into into my nerves as I was getting bored of doing nothing and I started missing my students. So, although I haven't quite feel healthy, I went to work the next day thinking that it was only a day coz the next day will be the start of weekend anyway.

I happily got to work in the morning, only to find my 9 students out of 15 present at school, the others were absent. Mind you, my class has always been famous for the almost complete absent everyday. Be it Ramadhan celebration (where they should be absent coz there's no nanny), or rainy season, or the flu season. They are still going to be present at school, not wanting to be absent. I've even got a few report from parents saying their kids wanted to go to bed early coz they want tomorrow to come early so they can go to school. When I was a that age, my mom had to struggle getting me to school every morning!!

Anyway, I thought most of my students were getting the flu too because everybody seemed to be getting it. When it was time to dismiss them, some of their parents came and pick them up and I chatted with them. They told me that their child - who has been present for the 2 days I was absent - reported to their parents that they doesn't want to go to school anymore if I'm not there and that they don't like the substitute teacher. And that was followed by a long list by their children on why they didn't like the substitute teacher.

Most of the parents called the school up in the morning to check if I'll be teaching today in class and if I'm not they're not going to bother sending their child. There's also a parent who brought me some chinese medicine and some tea to help me with my sore throat coz her son refuse to go in the school after knowing I was absent. Jokingly, she said 'You better don't get sick anymore now that I gave you the medicine, my son won't come to school if you're not here!!!'. Turns out her son came to school for the whole 2 days and after getting to the gate, he asked the gatekeeper if I was there and when he knows I wasn't he cried to his mom telling her he wants to go home.

I have also heard from a parent that their child does not want to move into higher level if it means they will have different teacher, and the child actually used the word 'Doesn't want to go to school anymore'. There's actually some parents who've asked me to move and teach their class as their child move every year.

F.Y.I.. lets not forget to keep in mind that my students are mostly 3 year olds. I don't remember being that good in complaining when I was that age. *sigh*

On relationship..

Today, I stayed at home. Didn't go to work coz I came down with a really bad flu and I lost my voice. Its funny how I sometimes feel grateful falling sick coz that means I have time to do unimportant stuff a.k.a doing nothing. So while hugging a box of tissue and drinking lots of 'liang teh', I camped myself on the couch in front of the TV, watching my favourite show, Oprah.

It was on the topic of great love. There are 4 remarkable-great-love-stories compiled on the show. I have to say, each and every one of the stories really does put a smile on my face. One thought crept into my mind after watching the show and that is how love works its way into people's life in an unexpected, amazing and magical way.

I am blessed enough to have experienced great love in my life. Although I'm currently single, I have once been in an almost-into-marriage relationship. We've got into the phase of talking about where the wedding would take place, how much money we're going to put into it, what kind of wedding dress we both like and we even agreed on the name of our kids. Sometimes, couples are so into preparing their once in a lifetime reception that they forgot that it wasn't about the wedding and it should be about the marriage. And sometimes in the middle of all the glitz and glitters of the preparation, they forgot that this special significant other might have their wants and needs. Or in my case, I wanted the relationship to work so badly that I thought I knew what's best for the relationship and thus I disregard whatever he might think. And as a result, I forgot that he might have some opinion on the matter that is worth considering.

Anyway, I learn that taking relationship to the next level means both partners have to make the commitment that their partner has to come first. If both partners acknowledge that kind of understanding between one another, they would be able to compromise and in turn appreciate the ongoing process of giving and taking between them. And before they know it, its becoming a habit in their relationship.

I once learned that relationship is like a chair. If there's 4 legs to the chair, then the chair would be solid and would be a safe chair to sit in. You've got to have 1. Friendship, 2. Common mission and values, 3. Negotiated division of labour and priorities and 4. Sex and intimacy. And not having one of those factor means you will be seating in a chair with missing leg which I don't think anybody in a right mind would do.

Anyway, my great love relationship that I described above didn't turn out as everybody expected. I guess there must be one or two leg/s missing on the chair, lol. But, I can look back and say it was considered my great love relationship.

In conclusion, relationship is not meant to be easy, but I think with the right person, every journey will in turn be worth it.

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And for what its worth.. I forgive you.. not just in words, but in my heart, I forgive you. I thank you for everything that had happened, the good and the bad. The good - for all the wonderful memories that will never go away through time (even until I'm old and grey) and also the bad - for all the pain and heartache has definitely made me a better person today. :)