Mourning

The past 3 days have been devastating. We have just lost a very dear member of the family. We were all in a deep state of shock as everything happen so suddenly. No one knew about him being hospitalized and when we heard, he was already in coma.

He is a cousin from my father's side and we are considered a pretty close-knit family. We're the type of family who loves to laugh every time we gather. The older ones, even to the youngest one, are always tryin to crack jokes for everybody. Things will never be the same now that one of us isn't going to be there anymore.

Most of the relatives gathered in the hospital in less than an hour after knowing he was admitted, but by then he was already in coma. Everybody were yelling, pushing him, asking him to wake up, but he just wouldn't. No one was ready for this, it was all too sudden. He was fine in the morning, and he's gone in the afternoon. I wasn't there when it happens. I was on my way to work when I heard the news. I cut my therapy session short, went straight home and then leave to 'rumah duka' as soon as possible. I cried on my way home talking to a few of my cousins but when we got there, when all members of the family were present, its hard not to just break down and cry.

We went to rumah duka for 2 days in a row, the first night was just us, the whole relatives and family in Jakarta. The second night was the 'malam kembang', where they held a little ceremony and prayer before closing the casket and by then most of our relatives from Medan had arrived. The next morning was the cremation day. Everybody was there and we formed a convoy of 14 cars to the crematorium.

Once we were there, we waited for a few minutes before the ceremony started. We scatter flower petals, paying our last respect, and saying our good byes. When it was finally time to bring him in. Me and few of my cousins stepped away, we cannot bear seeing him go away like that. For me, that was the worst part, having to see the steel gate closes after he was brought in. Everybody was in tears, my parents, my uncles, my aunties, my cousins. We were not ready to say goodbye. Things were not supposed to end up this way. Deep in each of our hearts, we say our own prayers.

May you rest in peace koko.. Things will never be the same without you here, and although you are not here with us, you will always be in our hearts. Our prayers are always with you.

And yet another year.. *sigh*

Its the birthday... again!! Not so excited about this year's birthday's.. as always!! Anyway, me and my sister have been watching a lot of DVD's a few days now and I didn't even realize that it was 12 o'clock at night when suddenly my sister paused the movie and attack me, literally attacking. She managed to land 2 kisses somewhere in my face after a real power struggle between me and her which then followed by her jumping up and down wishing me 'Happy Birthday'.

Then my phone started to ring, it was my ex's sister wishing me happy birthday, although she was a bit too early in which she said a bit embarrased (so cute and sweet of her). Then I woke up with lots of messages and unanswered phone calls from everybody. Thank you very much guys, I'm glad you guys remembered and I really appreciate it. I also get messages, comments from friendster, facebook, everywhere. Thank you!!

We end the night by having a birthday dinner with my family and close relatives. Only closed ones coz to invite the whole relatives will need a lot of work, even ballroom hotels can't fit us. We might need gelanggang olah raga to do so. Anyway, I'm not big on birthdays, at first I just wanted it to be just like any other day. Knowing that, my sister turns the opposite way, she bought me a big cake, and after we had dinner, she asked the whole staff from the restaurant to bring the cake and sing for me. I hated it!! I was so embarassed I feel like hiding under the table. Plus, she got my niece and nephew to perform and sing their own creation of happy birthday song in front of everybody. Don't worry though, I will make my sister pay for what she did!

Anyway, thanks again for the well wishes everybody.. really really appreciate it. :))

Photos courtesy of my very lovely cousin sister who's got real talent in photography.

Great Indulgence

My family and I went to Bali just as the holiday started ( to avoid the chaos and overcrowd of Lebaran holiday in Bali). We have always loved Bali and its been sort of a must visit place at least once a year. We always stayed at different hotels while we're there and are always hotels by the beach this time we're hitting the mountains.

I have to say that we're fortunate coz we've always had wonderful experiences in different hotels, it's always great hotel with fabulous facilities and view. We stayed at Ubud (2 hour drive from the airport), its mostly mountains in that area. The hotel we stayed in was located at a hillside and strectched above two river valleys.

We stayed at a villa and it was very nicely put as the entrance to the villa was located pretty far to the villa itself. They also provide free yoga sessions in which me and my mom took part while we were there. What's famous about this place is the Spa Resort. I've heard about how great it was but I didn't really know why until I was there checking it out by myself. They won the Best Spa Award for 2 years in a row which explains why its so hard to make a reservation. The Spa Resort located by the side of the river overlooking the valley. We had our spa treatments at one of their eight open-air private treatments pavilion which located by the side of the river. As we get our treatment, we enjoy the sound of flowing water from the river and the cool natural breeze.

Here's some pictures..

~ The Hotel..

~ The Spa..

Personally I loved the hotel and the change of scenery, however, me and my sister agreed that we once stayed at a better hotel where the villa has 3 bedrooms each with its own TV, sofa, and a big bathroom with a big bathtub. There was also a kitchen (complete with all the eating and cooking utensils), a big screen TV with all the BOSE sound system, and a private jacuzzi in the villa. My dad said if we compared every hotel to 'that' one, we're never going to find any better ones. Oh well..

My Sunshine..

I was driving, on my way to work. When suddenly, my eyes are filled with tears. Tears that I cannot control. I haven't cried for a very very long time now. Thats when I realized that this tears are bound to drop sooner or later. That's coz, no matter how long I wish time travels, she's going to leave anyway.

My baby sister is going to continue her studies overseas. I was all cool and fine about it until that very moment when I was behind the wheel on my way to work, I realized that in a few months she's not going to be there everytime I get home.

She has always been my sunshine in the rain. No matter how much of a bad day I was having, she has always managed to find a way to get a smile right on my face. We did everything together, we finished each other's sentences. We often joke about how we should spent more time apart coz the closeness we have is starting to be disgusting. One time, she even said we will never get boyfriends because we're spending too much time together.

And just not long ago, I found out that she has brought that effect to people around her, not just me. Many of my friends, have grown to love her like their own sister, and she openly enjoys the attention she gets from my friends.

I can't even type without having tears filling up my eyes. Things won't be the same without her here.. and this place will not be as livable after she left..

*How I wish I don't have to feel all this alone..*

..me..

I consider myself a planner.. and having 2 jobs does not make that any better. I am constantly planning for the next minute in my head. As I open my eyes waking up in the morning, my head starts going through the things that need to be done on that day, as I leave for work, grabbing my breakfast to be eaten while I drive in the morning and throw a quick kiss to both my dogs, I make more detailed plan and self-reminder on everything that I cannot forget to do. Even in my sleep, sometimes I dream about things that needs to be done.

I'm pretty lucky because now I get a driver to get around so I can do most of my last-minute-unfinished work and much of the planning on the road. Even my friends now say that I'm never at a place for a long time. When they call me up, I was here and the next minute I was already on the way to somewhere. I'm always on the go. The thing is, I have 2 full-time job, both are important and both deserved the same dedication from me. I admit, sometimes, I hate the responsibility that I have to give to both ,and sometimes I wish I can choose which one to cater first than the others. And the traffic here in Jakarta is no help at all. So what I did was, I make sure to everybody that I don't have flexible times. If they need anything from me, they need to let me know way before hand and that there is no guarantee that I will be able to fulfill their requests.

Which is why, I am very very very happy about holiday. I have arranged holiday for myself every now and then. This time, I get a 2 weeks holiday. Yeeehaaaa..... I'm going away to Bali, not to the beaches though, this time.. to the mountains.. Sooo.. I switched off my phone and ... happy holiday!!!!!!!!